You, uh, come here often?
It’s April 28, 2014 and I haven’t posted to the blog since
last year. As I sit writing the draft, I’m not entirely sure what my last post
was even about. The blog began with a purpose – documenting 13 cities in 30 days.
Then, for the year that followed, I documented a 365-day challenge; where the
goal was to complete an item a day from a bucket list I created.
When the New Year came around, I had no new concept. I didn’t
know what the theme of my blog was anymore. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions
(re: last year's inspiration), I had nothing really new coming on the horizon
for me, I was just working and living and…. boring. No one wants to read that.
Shoo, I didn’t even want to write it.
Now, though, as I embark on a 21 day alcohol fast, I realize
that I’ve been doing these little challenges throughout the year. Just a few
days or weeks or months here and there where I direct a good amount of focus to a single plan.
Before we go there, though, let’s first recap the 365
challenge. Here’s the piece I wrote summing it up for my readers at BLANK
newspaper:
Last year, in lieu of a New Year’s Resolution, I made a
list of things I wanted to accomplish. The list included small, random act of
kindness, trying new activities and travel. I thought instead of committing myself
to a year of one challenge, I could dedicate myself to daily goals.
I grabbed the list the other day. I looked over the things
I’ve checked off. I looked at what’s left. Boy, was I ambitious! The expression
“delusions of grandeur” comes to mind. In fact, it seems like a bit of an
understatement. Even with all the energy drinks and all the money in the world,
I would NOT have been able to accomplish everything I put on the list, which
never did reach a full 365 items.
In the New Year, I wonder if I should feel sad or
disappointed with myself for not completing the list. Did I let the list or
even my readers down by not accomplishing everything on it? I think not.
Because, ultimately, I accomplished what the list was meant to do. The idea was
to make my world a better one. By “my world” I mean, mine, the one I live in.
So, no, I’m not Mike Hamilton saving villages in Africa. I didn’t make a little
boy’s dream come true by shutting down an entire city so he could feel as
heroic as the Caped Crusader. I didn’t start a new dance craze by assaulting
Robin Thicke on a teen award show – which might not actually have improved any
world, but you get the idea. But my individual world in which I work, play, eat
and reside has seen great improvements.
Last year, I went to New Orleans, I saw a live band at the
House of Blues, I ran a half marathon, I took a beach vacation with my favorite
women, I told people I loved them, I complimented strangers, I smiled at
everyone I saw in a single day, I went to a wine tasting, I packed up five
years in one apartment and started fresh in another, I took fashion risks, I
tried Brazilian food, I dyed my hair purple, I grew my bangs then cut them
again, I donated to charity, I jumped off a cliff and dove out of my comfort
zone and into new experiences. I learned that life is hard but it can be fun.
My early twenties were about being young and crazy. My late
twenties have been about struggle and change. The list, without realizing it,
was a coping mechanism for dealing with the strange and out of control things
that life was throwing at me. I created the list to do more with each day. To
do something that made it not just another day, but a day that mattered. A day
where I made someone smile, or let someone know they were important to me,
where I got to try a new activity or test my personal boundaries.
The idea behind a New Year’s resolution is to improve one’s
self through a single action one maintains throughout the year. As I wrote at
the start of this endeavor, it usually ends in failure. With the 365 Challenge,
I meant to eliminate the failure by creating new challenges for each day. Most
were reasonable but some were outlandish and unrealistic, thus the
non-completion of said list. However, if the purpose was to improve myself, I
see no failure there.
I think the version of me that started this list would feel
so ashamed that I wasn’t successful at completing all of the tasks. However,
after a year of asking things of myself that I wouldn’t have formerly asked,
I’m proud. The list will live on, now, as a bucket list. I’ll get to Canada and
Vegas and find a friend to teach me how to brew my own beer. I’ll train for and
run a full marathon. I will have more vacations and less lazy days. I’ll plant
a garden and grow my own jalapenos. I’ll can tomatoes and pickle peppers like
Peter Piper. I’m a better person now than I was a year ago. I’m stronger.
Another year wiser. Happier, not just with my life, but I’ve learned to be happy. To see through the negative and know that
better days are always ahead. I’m a silver linings kind of girl now. I know
that my writing can be campy and sometimes naively optimistic, but actually, I
used to have a pretty dark and sad side – still do – but with this endeavor
I’ve found a way to live more happily. More honestly. I’ve learned to let
things be what they are. Accept the things I cannot change and be happy with
the person that I am, but never stop growing and improving on her. There is
always room for improvement. I have a new thirst for knowledge and hunger for
experience. I’m starving for new escapades. Before I push that metaphor too
far, though, I’ll wish you a happy New Year and thank you for joining me on my
365 day journey.
And remember, “What you do today is important because you
are exchanging a day of your life for it.” – Unknown
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