Performance Review

This year, in lieu of a New Year’s Resolution, I made a list of things I want to accomplish. The list includes small, random act of kindness, trying new activities and travel. I thought instead of committing myself to a year of one challenge, I could dedicate myself to daily goals. Like any resolution, this has proven to be more difficult than initially thought. It seemed simple at first, write a list of 365 things I want to do or try that will contribute to my every day well being and the happiness of the people around me. The idea being that I could check the items off the list in a sort of “My Name Is Earl” manner; when an opportunity arises, I check something off the list. Even if an opportunity isn’t presented, I still have to do something productive and positive with each day. There are certainly “cheat” days, like “go for a walk” (a difficult task for someone who’d rather pound the pavement in runner’s fashion) or “catch up with a friend.” The items can take entire days or just a few seconds, but the idea is to do something with each day. The list stands at 200 items right now.

So far, I’m off to a pretty decent start. There are moments of slowed momentum or feelings of failure, however, the list was built for moments of doubt like these. It includes small, random acts of kindness that take seconds to accomplish, so that no day is wasted.

The thing I’ve been most remiss with is blogging the whole thing because I’m not quite sure how. What to write long pieces about or what people want to hear. Is anything I’m doing is remotely interesting to anyone at all? I’ve come across a few hiccoughs in the process, so I thought I might write about those, but then I thought who really cares? Except that if this is, in a sense a resolution, I’m sure that some people might be encouraged to hear about my progress. That I’m not perfect, I have screwed up, but that it’s not the end of the challenge! The year is going to roll on and so, too, must the challenge!

             

I’ve found that sometimes when I don’t even mean to, I’m able to check an item off the list when I hadn’t even intended to. One morning, I didn’t have enough money to pay the parking attendant until I got into work. She recognized me, though, and knew I would be able to bring her the last two dollars once I got inside and borrowed it from a co-worker. I have this woman on my list. She is always kind and understanding, polite and conversational and the perfect face to see on my way to work everyday. In any weather, she sits in her little blue collection booth, smiles and takes my money, so I have “bring her hot chocolate” as an item on my list. And so, along with my two dollars, I also brought her some sweet hot cocoa with whipped cream. She was touched and grateful. It was so easy, I felt like I was cheating!

I’ve been running into an issue after completing a task for the day, though, where I want to rest on my laurels and stop doing for the day. If I check off  “clean bathroom,” I wonder if I should continue on my cleaning spree throughout the rest of the apartment, as I have built the momentum, or if I should just call it a day. Afterall, I’ve checked off an item from the list and, let’s not forget, I have a whole year to check off the rest. When a day is reserved for “try new ethnic food,” does that mean it can’t also be “buy coffee for the person in line behind you at the Starbucks drive-thru”? Of course not! On the day when I brought my Happy Parking Attendant her cocoa, I already had the day reserved for “Girls’ Night Out.” On this day, I checked off two items, which made up for the one day the week before when I let the momentum die and the day slipped by me.

There are no rules to this challenge. When I miss a day, there should be no guilt. If I pile three things in to one day, then it was truly golden. The list isn’t meant to run me; it’s meant to inspire me. Certainly, a day has passed where I haven’t checked an item off the list, but I did something fantastically fulfilling… so I add it to the list and check it off.